Integrity

Thoughts for later.

When you spend 2 years of your life believing lies, is it possible that any of it was true?

Is there truth on a foundation of lies?

Can you know someone when they wont allow you past the surface?

What do you do when you discover that even at the point that felt most true, most promising, most sincere... that moment when your heart was exposed and vulnerable and uncomfortable and you bore it anyway because you believed he saw *you...* Even that was based on a lie?

And what is the other side of this? What is his lived experience? Was it a game? A joke? A secret shame? Does he think of me with fondness or shame or regret or humour? 

And why

Why

Why

The fuck

Do I still care?


^ something to write about.

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